When the rain of your soul threatens to drown you

Whining starts. Tempers flare. Ugliness... The gray sky screams of captivity. Captivity in my home. Captivity to my thoughts. Captivity to my temper. Lighting flashing, thunder growling, rain threatens. How do I make something beautiful out of such a mess! To restore my house to grace and dignity. To find peace. "Humility. Softly whispered to my heart...be humble. Be gentle. Be tenderhearted. DAUGHTER! be like Me...." Tears flow and I realize yet again my need for my Savior. My need for forgiveness as I raise these tender ones. As I either bring them to the sun and water their souls with that which promotes the life giving nurture of the King or I shade them in my anger, frustration, and irritation and leave them dry allowing my feelings of the day to overshadow everything as I with hold the thing that their souls so desperately need, Grace. That unmerrited favor, that life giving hope. Oh how I do not want to leave them dry and parched for love, for tenderness, for peace and joy! Tears flow like the rain and I find myself kneeling before the young and asking them for the forgiveness that I am so undeserving of but crave and earnestly seek. Then yet again, like multiple times before a child leads as restoration is given freely and lovingly and my soul is released from the ugliness of being in the wrong. Isn't this just like our Lord? To show us through relationship that we stand in need of Him? To show us that no matter how great and mighty we feel we are that there is someone else that needs to be elevated and ministered to? I am humbled as I think on this thought and the Holy Spirit gives my spirit this verse as He ministers to me... Romans 12:1 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. 3 For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think ; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. 4 For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, 5 so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith ; 7 if service, in his serving ; or he who teaches, in his teaching ; 8 or he who exhorts, in his exhortation ; he who gives, with liberality ; he who leads, with diligence ; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness." Reflection: How am I as a parent teaching my child to be part of the body of Christ? How am I showing them the humility and grace and fiathfulness of God with my actions? Their gifts and abilities are not necessarily the same as mine, so how am I encouraging them to use their specific gifts with diligence...am I showing mercy and cheerfulness in my tasks? My soul sighs deeply...the weight of responsibility feels overwhelming! and yet there is this: Psalm 31:3 "For You are my rock and my fortress ; For Your name's sake You will lead me and guide me."

Eye doctor

About a month ago during safety class at our lighthouse homeschool group Andrea's class had an eye doctor come and give a talk and show the kids what an eye appointment was like and why they were important. It was brought to our attention that Andrea had a hard time seeing far away. She had never mentioned anything so I was sort of taken aback today when the eye doctor that we saw said that she was very near sighted. I actually cried because I felt that she had missed out on so much beauty in life. After the doctor comforted me by telling me that there was no harm done and that her world would now become so much more detailed and exciting to her, we went through the fun task of finding frames! There was so much laughter that I am not sure if we were appreciated much but we made something that could have been a bummer into an adventure. I really hope that she loves her new glasses and that she has fun showing them off to her friends. Kids can be cruel so I made sure that they were pretty and made her feel pretty. I remember being about her age and a daughter of one of my mom's best friends had glasses and braces. I was SOOOO jealous and wanted both super bad. Looking back I know now that it was not those items that made Katie cool it was the fact that she was confident in the fact that she was loved. As and adult with kids that need braces and glasses I see now the benefit in teaching the girls same confidence. To teach them that they are loved and that they are fearfully and wonderfully made. Just as my mother taught me over and over and over again. Today could have been very difficult but hopefully we have been able to bring an anticipation to Andrea, not only for her to see better but to also know that she is loved...always loved.